What if I screw up my life?
What if I completely mess up God’s plan beyond repair?
What if I disappoint my family?
It seems like my friends, both near and far, are all struggling with the same thing, myself included. I don’t know if it’s because we are growing up and our parents are no longer making all major decisions. Maybe it’s because the light bulb is coming on that we aren’t 8 years old anymore. Or perhaps God is sending us through the same struggle so we can help each other through it. Whatever the reason, I think it’s time I make a post on it.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this actually. It probably started around the time I was a junior in high school. Just a little bit of background on me. I’m the youngest; not only in my immediate family, but on both sides of extended family. Well, at least the youngest girl. All of my older cousins are girls. I’ve watched them all grow up and make choices; some good and some…not so good. Since the time I was little, I purposed to not be like my cousins!! Not everything they have done hasnt been horrible, but I want to be different!! I don’t want to be status quo! In all of that purposing to be different the aforementioned questions have popped up several times.
What if I fail in my goal at being different?
What if I make the same mistakes they have?
What if I watch my mom cry herself to sleep over me, like I saw her do over them?
It really wasn’t until this recent trial with Rich that I finally came to a peace about this predicament. I came very close to messing up with Rich. Now, before you get your britches in a bunch, we didn’t come close to crossing any “major” physical boundaries, but I made some compromises that I shouldn’t have. I made some choices that were probably less than top notch. What I find to be a huge blessing in the whole situation is that because I hadn’t completely shut out my parents and authority, God was able to use them to bring me back in the center of His will. This allowed me to realize that if I’m seeking the counsel of my elders, (sorry mom and dad, don’t mean to make you sound old….) and really desire for God to use me, then when situations arise that could throw me off course He loves me enough to give me a chance to make the right choice!
I’m currently reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. (Loving it so far) In one section He takes us to Jeremiah 1:6-10
Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the Lord.”
Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me,
“Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,
to pluck up and to break down,
to destroy and to overthrow,
to build and to plant.”
I love it when people in Scripture remind me of me! Jeremiah, Moses, and others, like to tell God what they are capable of and what they are not capable of…Just like Christy! From this passage Mr. Chan said:
“I don’t have to worry about not meeting His (God’s) expectations. God will ensure my success according to His plan, not mine!”
If God wants me to do something, He will align circumstances to make it happen. When you feel like you are a failure, take a step back and see what God says. Are you really a failure to God, or are you just a failure at your own plans? Fortunately for us, God’s plan is the only one that really matters!
I say all of that to say this: Why worry about our future? Why worry about messing up? God’s not gonna let you fail to the point of no return if you are His child! That doesn’t mean that you wont face hard things. That doesn’t mean that you will never make a wrong choice. But when you do, you can be comforted in knowing that God’s plan will always prevail!
Today’s Blessings:
- A God that is big enough to have my life all figured out and desires that personal relationship with me!
- I don’t have to stress about my future! My God’s got it all under control!
- My gramma didn’t break any bones when she fell! Praise the Lord!
-Christy
Blessings in Waiting 